I suspect all of us have been hurt in deep and lasting ways by the words or acts of another. It's normal in such situations to feel hostility toward the person who hurt us. If we allow the offense to linger, we may carry the hurt and resentment in the form of a grudge. Usually this causes more unhappiness for us than the person we're mad at.
Some religions speak of forgiveness as a moral duty, others as a worthy virtue, and still others impose preconditions on the wrongdoer before he or she is entitled to be forgiven. Whatever your religious views, psychologists say the ability to forgive is closely correlated to happiness and mental health.
Some people refuse to even entertain the idea of forgiveness because they don't think the person they resent deserves to be forgiven. Others don't want to appear to condone or excuse the conduct and certainly don't want to reconcile with the person.
The essence of forgiveness is a voluntary decision to abandon continuing resentment, to let go of anger, and to move on. It doesn't require or imply condoning, excusing, or forgetting. Nor does it require that the forgiver re-establish a relationship with the wrongdoer.
The capacity to forgive is related to the character strength of empathy. People who can empathize with an offender and see things from that person's perspective are much better able to forgive. The older we get, the more forgiving we're likely to become.
Hmmm. We usually get wiser, too. So maybe it's wise to forgive.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Letting go
In exactly the same way that birds have to find the courage to let go of a branch in order to actually fly, we must also let go of our emotional branches if we are to experience the exhilaration of soaring to our highest potential in life!
The branches we hold on to are our innermost attachments: our beliefs, our bad habits and those memories which keep us stuck. And then there are the outer attachments: they are people, possessions, positions and privileges. We must be aware that as long as we hold onto them, we will actually live in fear and we will never feel the freedom that we all deserve. Once you become aware of those birds and the initial courage they display when they let go of their branches just prior to flying, you will be capable of experiencing life in a totally different way.
This can be your new recipe of how to live a life where you learn to let go of one branch at a time, and learn to have new experiences, one at a time. The birds have found that by letting go of one branch, they are then able to spend the rest of their lives trying many other branches, one branch at a time, and they can enjoy the view from each new vantage point. What a way to live!
Are you actually flying and soaring in your life, or are you stuck on one branch, resenting others as they fly past?
You can do it, go on, just try letting go!
Remember this - not letting go of old stuff is the same as driving through life with a flat tyre on our cars; not stopping to change it; hoping that it will fix itself; pretending that the ride is smooth; knowing that it isn't; until one day it gets so loud and bumpy that we are forced to stop and take a look, and actually get help!
The branches we hold on to are our innermost attachments: our beliefs, our bad habits and those memories which keep us stuck. And then there are the outer attachments: they are people, possessions, positions and privileges. We must be aware that as long as we hold onto them, we will actually live in fear and we will never feel the freedom that we all deserve. Once you become aware of those birds and the initial courage they display when they let go of their branches just prior to flying, you will be capable of experiencing life in a totally different way.
This can be your new recipe of how to live a life where you learn to let go of one branch at a time, and learn to have new experiences, one at a time. The birds have found that by letting go of one branch, they are then able to spend the rest of their lives trying many other branches, one branch at a time, and they can enjoy the view from each new vantage point. What a way to live!
Are you actually flying and soaring in your life, or are you stuck on one branch, resenting others as they fly past?
You can do it, go on, just try letting go!
Remember this - not letting go of old stuff is the same as driving through life with a flat tyre on our cars; not stopping to change it; hoping that it will fix itself; pretending that the ride is smooth; knowing that it isn't; until one day it gets so loud and bumpy that we are forced to stop and take a look, and actually get help!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
There are nothing you cannot do
There's nothing to fear, you're as good as the best.
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test.
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today.
So nobody else, you see.
Can do your work in as fine a way.
You’re the only you there’ll be.
So face the world, and all life is yours.
To conquer and love and live.
And you’ll find the happiness that endures.
In just the measure you give.
There's nothing too good for you to possess.
Nor heights where you cannot go.
Your power is more than belief or guess.
It is something you have to know.
There is nothing to fear, you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill.
There's nothing you cannot do.
As strong as the mightiest, too.
You can win in every battle or test.
For there's no one just like you.
There's only one you in the world today.
So nobody else, you see.
Can do your work in as fine a way.
You’re the only you there’ll be.
So face the world, and all life is yours.
To conquer and love and live.
And you’ll find the happiness that endures.
In just the measure you give.
There's nothing too good for you to possess.
Nor heights where you cannot go.
Your power is more than belief or guess.
It is something you have to know.
There is nothing to fear, you can and you will.
For you are the invincible you.
Set your foot on the highest hill.
There's nothing you cannot do.
Thinking Positively
If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up.
The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.
Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.
Never use the word impossible seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket.
Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself.
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.
How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively.
Go at life with abandon; give it all you've got. And life will give all it has to you.
The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.
Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.
Never use the word impossible seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket.
Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself.
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.
How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively.
Go at life with abandon; give it all you've got. And life will give all it has to you.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Hope
If you can look at the sunset and smile, and find beauty in the colours of a small flower, then you still have hope.
If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, and if the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.
If you can see the good in other people, and if the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.
If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, and if the soft fur of a favoured pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.
If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, and if you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope.
If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, and if receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.
If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, and if you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.
If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, and if you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.
If you can look to the past and smile, and when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase ... 'yes, but ....' Then you still have hope.
Hope is such a marvellous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage. Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it. Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured and something that will refresh us in return. It can be found in each of us and it can bring light into the darkest of places. So never lose hope.
If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, and if the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.
If you can see the good in other people, and if the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.
If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, and if the soft fur of a favoured pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.
If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, and if you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope.
If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, and if receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.
If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, and if you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.
If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, and if you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.
If you can look to the past and smile, and when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase ... 'yes, but ....' Then you still have hope.
Hope is such a marvellous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage. Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it. Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured and something that will refresh us in return. It can be found in each of us and it can bring light into the darkest of places. So never lose hope.
Life is just like a camera
Think about life like a camera.
Focus on the what’s important.
Capture the good moments.
Develop from the negative ones.
And if things don’t work out,
Take another shot.
I don’t even know what I can add to that awesome quote! It is such a great way to look at life, It totally reminded me of how we need to look at our lives.
It mean that if you ever mess up or make a mistake, remember you can always take another shot. As long as your camera still has battery… as long as you’re still breathing… you can take another shot.
If we focus on what really matters in life and brush off the stuff that just doesn't matter; and if we really appreciate the good times and cherish each special moment of time we are given in this life; and when things go wrong the only positive thing we can really do is to grow from the experiences and allow them to make us into better people going forward; and when it doesn't work out the way we want…well get back up and try again because that is the only way we can move forward and be successful in this life.
Make most of your life, focus on your dreams and aspirations. Live in happiness and prosperity, improve your problems and transform your mind, body and soul for yourself.
Focus on the what’s important.
Capture the good moments.
Develop from the negative ones.
And if things don’t work out,
Take another shot.
I don’t even know what I can add to that awesome quote! It is such a great way to look at life, It totally reminded me of how we need to look at our lives.
It mean that if you ever mess up or make a mistake, remember you can always take another shot. As long as your camera still has battery… as long as you’re still breathing… you can take another shot.
If we focus on what really matters in life and brush off the stuff that just doesn't matter; and if we really appreciate the good times and cherish each special moment of time we are given in this life; and when things go wrong the only positive thing we can really do is to grow from the experiences and allow them to make us into better people going forward; and when it doesn't work out the way we want…well get back up and try again because that is the only way we can move forward and be successful in this life.
Make most of your life, focus on your dreams and aspirations. Live in happiness and prosperity, improve your problems and transform your mind, body and soul for yourself.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Yesterday's Door
I have shut the door on yesterday,
Its sorrows and mistakes.
I have locked within its gloomy walls
Past failures and mistakes.
And now I throw the key away,
And seek another room.
And furnish it with hope and smiles,
And every spring-time bloom.
No thought shall enter this abode
That has a taint of pain.
And envy, malice, and distrust
Shall never entrance gain.
I have shut the door on yesterday
And thrown the key away.
Tomorrow holds no fear for me,
Since I have found today.
Its sorrows and mistakes.
I have locked within its gloomy walls
Past failures and mistakes.
And now I throw the key away,
And seek another room.
And furnish it with hope and smiles,
And every spring-time bloom.
No thought shall enter this abode
That has a taint of pain.
And envy, malice, and distrust
Shall never entrance gain.
I have shut the door on yesterday
And thrown the key away.
Tomorrow holds no fear for me,
Since I have found today.
People and Plants
Plants grow best when we pay attention to them. That means watering, touching them, putting them in places where they will receive good light. They need people around them to notice if they are drooping at the edges or looking particularly happy in the sunlight. The more attention a plant receives, the better it will grow.
We need to be noticed in the same way. If we notice a family member or friend is drooping, perhaps we can pay some special attention to him or her. All of us need someone to care about how we are and to truly listen to us.
We can share and double someone's happiness by noticing and talking about it also. We help the people around us to grow by listening to their droopy edges as well as their bright days.
People need this as much as plants need light and water.
We need to be noticed in the same way. If we notice a family member or friend is drooping, perhaps we can pay some special attention to him or her. All of us need someone to care about how we are and to truly listen to us.
We can share and double someone's happiness by noticing and talking about it also. We help the people around us to grow by listening to their droopy edges as well as their bright days.
People need this as much as plants need light and water.
I have choice about today
I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today and I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate that I have a place to call home.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate that I have a place to call home.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
Smile
A smile costs nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile;
Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor, but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone, until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile;
Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
A New Ending
No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
There isn't promise of days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but can promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on! When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight, and be happy.
There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard. You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.
There isn't promise of days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but can promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on! When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight, and be happy.
There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard. You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.
I Am Your Attitude
I am seldom considered, though I do more to influence everything about you than virtually any one thing in your life. I often control the time you get up in the morning, the time you go to sleep, what you eat and drink and the very thought that runs through your head. I can make you either happy or sad, loving or hateful, cheerful or remorseful, congenial or spiteful and in doing so, control the very capacity that you have for success.
No, you don’t often think of me instead you BLAME the problem I create on the shortcoming of others, or the state of the economy, or your family or a million other reasons. Often at times unable to find anyone else to BLAME you look for shortcomings within yourself on which to lay the BLAME.
When my impact on your life fully is considered in your every thought and action, when you are mindful of my awesome power, when you nurture and groom me for positive use in your life, I can become more contagious than the most prolific disease ever witnessed by man. My influence will spread to every person you come in contact with.
Groomed and nurtured in a positive manner there will be no person or obstacle that can stand in the way of my success or fail to be impacted for the better.
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